New Statesman -- “semi-apology” -- October 18 deadline
 

No 4248
Set by Livia Y Farsley
In view of Clegg’s “semi-apology”, we want a half-hearted apology from a historical or literary figure explaining a regrettable action.
Max 150 words by 18 October comp@newstatesman.co.uk

After a few competitions set by our own "Adair R Fyn", I observe that this one too is set pseudonymously by an anagram of Sylvia Fairley.

Perhaps I should suggest one to them under the name Blair Raglan or Lara Labring.

Or perhaps Jayne might like to do so using Jenny Soobar or Barney Joons?

But I really can't see how John Whitworth could get in on the act.

J.Thoth W.W. Rhino is your man.

PHARAOH: I am fully aware that many loyal Egyptians have long been in desperate need of a well-paying job, and, I acknowledge, the pyramid initiative might have provided a perfect opportunity to employ multitudes while developing our all-important monument infrastructure. Due to budgetary constraints, however, the government was forced to enslave Jews to perform the tasks that might have been performed by able-bodied Egyptians, and for that I am truly sorry. But things are about to change for the better. The Jewish exodus, happening so soon after the killing of our first born males citizens, has created a labor shortage that should result in full employment for the remaining populace.

A pleasing name, John, although I think that using more than one initial and having no Christian name is cheating. But I admit that having ten consonants and only three vowels makes it hard to do otherwise.

My full name is Joshua Thoth West Wittering Rhino.

Removed by TC.

But I can, TC. That really made me grin - stopped me for a moment - in fact - on my way out to buy flowers for my expected guests...

Indeed you can, Ann! Very kind of you too. (And I made a minor grammatical tweak to the above this morning.)

I've recently read your poems at The Chimaera and The Hypertexts (have not finished the latter yet) and first found I admired your mischievousness--then came into the full-blown daring at both--Yes! What feats of devil-may-care courage and fine work!

NS Apologies
 

I suppose it’s quite naughty to use even more rhyme
To apologise for my style which folks say is a crime
Yes of course I’m really sorry for my terrible verses
But if I were alive today I’d tell you something worse is
Those so called poems you might see in the New Yorker
Which look like the poet fell head first from a tramcar
Now I hope he or she wasn’t really concussed
But same-sounding ends to successive lines is a must
On the subject of lines it’s a mystery to me
The length can be one word then seven next twenty-three
At least my epic odes gave the population a chuckle
Tho’ unintended and English folk don’t understand ‘muckle’
Still I offer my regrets for not doing elegies like Gray
But a river really does flow past Dundee every day