Word Nerd Police - Special Constable's report
 

It being incumbent upon me seeing as how it is my duty to report transgressions that I come upon during the execution of my duties even in an off-duty capacity, I am duly reporting a split infinitive found on Wikipedia. In all my time as a Special Constable this is one of the worst cases I have ever seen. Probationary Constable Alban Girral who accompanied me to the scene of the crime was obligated to go outside to throw up.

Anh 7 through 18 are works known by Kinsky to not have been written by Beethoven

Well, I'll be Anhanged!

Special WPC Jenny Soobar found this amusing take on the subject (abridged):

"Word has somehow got around that a split infinitive is always wrong. This is of a piece with the sentimental and outworn notion that it is always wrong to strike a lady. Everybody will recall at least one woman of his acquaintance whom, at one time, or another, he has had to punch or slap. I have in mind a charming lady who is overcome by the unaccountable desire, at formal dinners with red and white wines, to climb up on the table and lie down. Her dinner companions used at first to pinch her, under cover of the conversation, but she pinched right back or, what is even less defensible, tickled. They finally learned that they could make her hold her seat only by fetching her a smart downward blow on the head. She would then sit quietly through the rest of the dinner, smiling dreamily and nodding at people, and looking altogether charming.
A man who does not know his own strength could, of course, all too easily overshoot the mark and, instead of producing the delightful languor to which I have alluded, knock his companion completely under the table, an awkward situation which should be avoided at all costs because it would leave two men seated next to each other...

My contemporary, Mr Fowler, in a painstaking analysis of the split infinitive, divides the English-speaking world into five classes as regards this construction: those who don't know and don't care, those who don't know and do care, those who know and approve, those who know and condemn, and those who know and discriminate.

Mr Fowler's point is, of course, that there are good split infinitives and bad ones. For instance, he contends that it is better to say "Our object is to further cement trade relations," thus splitting "to cement," than to say "Our object is further to cement trade relations," because the use of "further" before "to cement" might lead the reader to think it had the weight of "moreover" rather than of "increasingly."

James Thurber:
Ladies' and Gentlemen's Guide to Modern English Usage

Jenny Soobar

Where does this Fowler hang out, then? Just give me an address and I'll be round there like greased lightning with the rubber truncheon and the handcuffs.

P.C. Girral