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The Oldie 'Lying in Bed' Results. *Wins for Jerome and Bill*
Congratulations, Jerome and Bill. This was a super topic, I thought. From the poems on the thread, I also thought John, Frank, Bob, Doug (and even I) might be in with a chance. Not a single Hon Mensh among us -- and a non-rhyming winner in there, to boot!
Never mind. But well done to our guys for upholding the sphere. :) Next comp on new thread. Jayne The Oldie Competition by Tessa Castro In Competition no 158 you were invited to write a poem called ‘Lying in Bed’. Edith Sitwell’s mother, Lady Ida (an earl’s daughter), would lie ‘late in bed in a bedroom heavy with the scent of discarded gardenias and tuberoses, reading French novels’. Her insomniac father, Sir George (a baronet), planned to publish a book about lying awake, called The Twenty-Seven Postures of Sir George R Sitwell. So it was little wonder that the poet later took to her bed like a fish to water, writing and drinking by turns. Such practical disadvantages occurred to Rob Rollett, pondering a statement by Chesterton about lying in bed: ‘It would be / An altogether perfect and supreme experience / If only one had a coloured pencil / Long enough to draw on the ceiling.’ Mr Rollett disagreed. The pencils would not make for ease, he thought, ‘One might as well lie in a tree!’ Some lighted upon the other meaning of ‘lie’, most economically Janet Mattacks in an entertaining entry, whose four lines went: ‘You were wonderful, darling, / She said, / Lying / In bed.’ Commiserations to them and to Paul Elmhirst, who wrote some evocative lines, and congratulations to those printed below, each of whom wins £25, with the ideal bedtime reading bonus prize of a Chamber’s Biographical Dictionary going to Jerome Betts. Is yours a spine that bends like willow, Strength sapped by eiderdown and pillow? Long lie-ins waste both wit and muscle, Life’s prizes come to those who bustle. When prone, the outlook’s horizontal, And mouse-sized snags grow mastodontal So wimps who linger under sheeting Will fail and flop and take a beating. Ah yes, young business push and shovers, Beware the place a duvet covers. No boss or parsnips will you butter In bed, that road towards debt and gutter! Such sound advice! I beg you, take it! Get up, and out, and on, and make it, Like me, a whizz-kid tired of whizzing, With time, at last, for good long zizzing. Jerome Betts You taunt me with your absence You come fleetingly, and so I plead with you. But when I want you most You go Ten unexpected minutes in the evening You won’t stay long and rarely for the night Elusive, fickle, won’t you lie with me? You might I crave the strength you give me The calm, the dreams, vitality and peace Just when I feel I have you constantly You cease Why do we fight, why do we always struggle? My need for you despairing, ever, deep My unpredictable bedfellow Sleep Linda Fawke The amount of the bed I need’s half-ish, Not far from pure 50 per cent, So when you accuse me of being a starfish, I am not very content: It’s true that what I want is equal To what you would wish on your side – But in dreams, when I re-live my life’s painful prequel (Though there’s nothing to hide), There may be some times I’m invading Your foetal and personal space. You shrink in sleep. If I’ve episodes raiding Your rest, now is it the case That I’m greedy? I don’t do much thrashing – Or bump you, or pummel and pound you. Yes I love you, I do. And I think you are smashing. But you have the duvet around you. Bill Greenwell Under the quilt your heat thaws my frozen feet softening my body like wax as I slide into sleep. Drawn like a moth to the light you turn a page I hear the rustle of paper like the flutter of wings against glass. You’ve travelled to a strange land beyond my reach. I float out on the tide, travel through the night swirling dream-waters where you cannot go. Held in the circle of the reading lamp side by side xxxxxxxxxwe lie alone. Jenna Plewes |
Huge congrats to Bill and Jerome. Oh I wish I could be so funny and so apt!
Everyone should come by and see what's up over here, shouldn't they, Jayne?! Just to see what they're missing, and what they might learn.... "Zizzing" and the "starfish" made my day! All best, Charlotte |
Many thanks Jayne and Charlotte. I may have missed out on a CBE in the New Year Honours but a first CBD is no small compensation.
I too admired BG's starfish, not to mention equal and prequel. Incidentally, I think I wrote 'bends like willow' rather than 'ends like willow'. Interestingly, from the range of these winning entries, it seems that Tessa C. presides over a pretty broad verse church. I hope the veg gives other Spherians the edge. |
Hi Jerome,
Oops, sorry about that missing 'b'! Now corrected. I've een having a it of troule with my keyoard lately. I elieve it's ecause I have some crap or crums or something underneath that letter. If I rememer to press it very hard the 'b' does appear, ut when I type normally it's asent. I shall have to get a little soft rush and clean the keyoard - or else give it a good low! :) Jayne |
Limey, Jayne! You seem to have the same prolem as me. I lame it all on Ill Gates.
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Loody hell, Rian. Oth of us!
(This reminds me of Stephen King's Misery, when the hero has to use a typewriter to write a novel, with several keys that don't work.) |
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