Electing the new pope
 

What criteria do you think the College of Cardinals should apply? Here's my suggestion:

Although we liked your piece on St Caecilia,
You’ve never joined the Mafia of Roma.
What’s more, you lack the requisite diploma -
A PhD in Higher Paedophilia.

On Seeing the Wrong Sort of Smoke Issuing from the Curia

Pope?
Nope.

A woman maybe? Someone black?
No, neither choice will do.
I'd really love to live in Rome,
So why not pick a Jew?

The first Pope was a married Jew
So really, Roger, why not you?

heh heh! g'donya Gail!

Roger's Dream Poem

A puff of white is seen at last,
and headlines scream, incarnadine:
the white silk robes and gold ring passed
to Samuel Cardinal Silverstine.

Papal Duties

Descending on a shaft of light—
taking interest in the young,
issuing the sacrament
to the pink expectant tongue.

When the Cardinals Consider Their Votes

At first it was my idle dream,
but then a wild, wicked hope
that each will glance about and scheme...
and cast his vote for Putney Swope.

Same old same old

A sight to make the buttocks clench --
the Sistine Chapel full
of cant, hypocricy and stench
of years more Papal bull.

Suffer the little children to come

I always kneel to read the psalter
So please elect me, I beseech;
Just think of all that I can teach
Those little boys behind the altar.