A premature epitaph for Wendy Cope
 

I came across an article by Wendy Cope from several years ago. The full article is at
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2007...ardianreview14

Here are a few self-explanatory extracts:

One summer's day, strolling through a cemetery, my partner and I had a conversation about what we would like on our gravestones. He suggested that mine should read: "Wendy Cope. All Rights Reserved." He knows all too well that I am obsessed with copyright ... My poems are all over the internet ... I'm sure that this must affect sales of my books.

I absolutely agree with her about copyright violation, but I thought that we might be able to improve the suggested epitaph.

Here lies one Wendy Cope. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is forbidden.
The spot is most poetically turved -
OK, the word just came to me unbidden -
Her body rests in peace, but I’ve observed
Her works are splashed across the World-Wide Midden.

Now, I’m not one to bully or to hector,
But fair is fair for poems, songs or lieder,
And cop(e)yright should still, though late, protect her
From every body-snatching little bleeder;
For poetry is sweet, but cash is nectar,
So pay up, matey, if you want to read her.

It's what she should have wanted, Brian. Splendid.

Brian,

This is a great epitaph. Let's hope that decades pass before it becomes operational.

By the way, you ought to copyright your phrase "World-Wide Midden". That's the best description of the Internet culture that I've encountered.

I have bought all of Wendy Cope's books so I'm not one of the guilty ones she refers to, but I'd like to put forward an alternative viewpoint here:

She says that when people tell her, "I liked your poem so much that I sent copies of it to all my friends", "I'm supposed to be pleased."

I would be pleased if someone told me that, and to hell with the copyright! It's a delightful compliment. Last year Mary (McLean) and I went to see an outside performance in Cambridge and Wendy didn't engage with her audience at all, or even thank them for coming along, nor could she use a microphone to save her life. I chatted with her at an Oldie lunch once and she was quite grumpy. My daughter was with me and was really shocked.

I love Wendy's work but I'm afraid all I see on a personal front is one of those Grumpy Old Women. She could do with lightening up to match her light verse! Being a poet is not just about selling books and making money. Years ago, long before the Internet was what it is now, one of my poems was "ripped off" but hey! people liked it enough to stick it up on their noticeboards at work - probably not with my name on, in many cases, but so what?

Like I said, just another way of looking at this...

Jayne

Hear, hear! Brian, A feisty epitaph in style. (Will you be sending her it?)

Personally, I've grown accustomed to adding (c) to any original verse or prose I post on the Internet, even doggerel ditties... just in case.
I live in hope!

Being paid is nice. It sanctifies your work, as it were. Money is wonderfully purifying stuff. And it is REMARKABLE how employers will do their best to screw it out of you. God save the Trade Unions though I've never been in one.

I grow grumpier by the day. Not with YOU of course, Jayne. And Wendy's background, like the sainted Margaret's, is in trade. My grandmother kept a hatshop and my grandfather an ironmonger's. Both failed. I am glad to see both my daughters live off the state (NHS and education). It is by far the safest way. So long as you have a union.

Mind you, a poets'union would be a laugh. Most of us can barely count to ten.

Verses for the Blessed Wendy

Your poetry is funny.
It speaks of Love and Money.
Love comes from the heart
And sanctifies our art.
Money comes from banks.
Give thanks. Give thanks.

On the subject of epitaphs, a friend of mine at university came up with the following for himself:

Emotional, social, sexual cripple;
In the ocean of life, not even a ripple.

Charming, is it not?

Putting a (c) on it ain't worth a diddly squat in a legal sense,.

I'd posted my favorite Wendy Cope poem in the Alsop Gazebo "Third Party" forum about the time that Guardian piece came out. I wasn't aware of the article when I posted the poem, but was made aware of it quickly in the comment thread. I felt bad, briefly.

Wendy Cope has made it finally to that sacred shore.
Who got most of the orange doesn't matter any more.