Speccie 2836 all together now by 19 Feb
 

And what the hell are WAGs?

No. 2836: all together now

You are invited to coin collective nouns for the following: tweeters; hackers; hoodies; WAGs; environmentalists; bankers; MPs; contrarians. Please email entries, wherever possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 19 February.

There was a Python sketch on this theme. I particularly remember 'a masturbation of zebras'.

A twat of tweeters
An antiestablishment of hackers
A hug of hoodies
A yawn of WAGs
An apocalyptication of environmentalists
An inferno of bankers
A grasp of MPs
A retort of contrarians

Not a lot of room for manoeuvre on this one, really. It would have been more fun to come up with our own groups too.

FYI John, 'WAGS' are the Wives And Girlfriends of footballers.

Dammit. I just thought of a twat of tweeters. Nice work.

I daresay everyone's thought of it, John.

Not me. I'll be sitting this one out down the pub again.

Oh come on Brian. It won't take ten minutes.

According to Bill Greenwell's history of the New Statesman competition, that magazines asked back in 1930 for collective nouns for:

chauffeurs, charwomen, income tax collectors, typists, actors, men-about-town, politicians, Jews, Scotsmen, commercial travellers, novelist, dramatic critics and hedgehogs

(From James Lipton's book An Exaltation of Larks, I learned that collective nouns can also be called terms of venery or venereal nouns.)

So perhaps "a venery of bankers"? Although "a veniality of bankers" might be better.

I see they were too chicken to do 'Jews' this time round.

Political correctness gone mad, I say.

A huddle of hoodies
A twitching of tweeters
A bickering of contrarians
A misery of environmentalists
A gluttony of bankers
A grope of MPs
An aeration of WAGs
A treason of hackers

Oh, and a circumcision of Jews