Call for "impossible" rhymes
 

Dear pyrotechnic rhymers,

For an upcoming special section in Light, we're looking for poems of up to six lines that include full rhymes for supposedly impossible rhyming words (see examples and partial list below), as well as words known to have only one or two exact rhymes, such as "clothes" and "mouth." As with all Light submissions, poems may be new and/or previously published work that appeared in print only (not online) at least two years ago. Deadline for these submissions is Jan. 5, '17. Please label the submission "Impossible Rhymes" and include your name in the cover letter only. **Limit: 12 short poems per person. (This is more than twice our usual limit, but seems reasonable in this case. ... You should also feel free to send a "regular" submission separately, for consideration in the usual pages of the mag.) Our online submissions system is here.

Cheers,
Melissa

EXAMPLES (all previews of our upcoming essay by Bob McKenty):

Rhymes that use proper nouns: Urkel/circle--McKenty; Gorringe/orange--Arthur Guiterman

Mosaic rhymes: expense'll/utensil --Tom Lehrer; lipstick/hips stick --Ogden Nash

Rhymes that involve breaking words in two:

The four eng-
ineers
Wore orange
Brassieres.
--Willard Espy

Macaronics (rhymes that involve multiple languages):
A rhyme for orange?
Because I'm foreign, je
Mange
L'orange. --McKenty

Rhymes that involve dialect: loafa/sofa; broker/polka --McKenty

Rhymes that depend on made-up spellings, a la Nash: insousiance/nousiance--Nash; broccoli/loccoli -- Roy Blount Jr.

Rhymes that use completely invented words, a la Jabberwocky (toves/borogroves, etc.)


A PARTIAL LIST OF "IMPOSSIBLE" RHYMES
(Feel free to consult other lists online):

ACRID
ANGST
BEIGE
BISHOP
BULB
CHALLENGE
CHAOS
CIRCLE
CIRCUS
CONCIERGE
CYCLONE
ENVY
FAITHFUL
FALSE
FILM
FILTH
GOUGE
GULF
HAPPEN
ITEM
KITCHEN
MONTH
MUSIC
ORANGE
OSTRICH
PADLOCK
PENGUIN
PROBOSCIS
POLKA
PURPLE
PYGMY
REPLENISH
RHYTHM
SILVER
WASP
WIDTH
WINDOW
WOMEN
SOFA
STALACTITE
STALAGMITE
TRINKETS

sonnet rhymes with bonnet but nothing else, as far as I know.

From the start, Trump knew he could con it? sell it? crap upon it? pawn it?

"Clothes" has many rhymes, doesn't it? At least according to rhymezone.com

"Faults" ???

pygmy - do ya dig me?

sofa, so good

I think that's exactly the point, Ralph: if a word has few or no exact rhymes you have to find a way around the problem.

Hi ho!
 

SILVER

braver striver clever solver silver giver liver forever savior Silver

sliver silver salver slather splinter blather

Careful, Ralph! This isn't a workshop board thread or D&A thread.

I hear you, Julie. Just doodling fur fun.

Mike, fault/somersault

Catherine, sofa, I like it!