Escape Room
 

Escape Room

Why is there something instead of nothing?
How did consciousness come to be,
since the arrow of time flies from order to chaos
and things fall apart due to entropy?

Since there is something instead of nothing,
and we have been given the earth for free,
why does the universe want to destroy us
with fire, or ice, or an asteroid? We

can only escape by leaving our planet.
The expanding sun will force us to flee
like spores dispersed through the cold, dark cosmos,
like Hebrews with Moses, but no guarantee

at the end of our journey that we will see
Something
instead of
nothing.
————————
Edits:
S3L4: like Hebrews in Sinai with no guarantee > like Hebrews with Moses, but no guarantee

Hi, Glenn!

Because this poem is more about the thought exercise than about the poetic experience — minimal rhyme, minimal imagery — I find myself getting ridiculously picky about the details of the thought exercise.

As someone very concerned about immediate man-made disasters, I just can't work up much interest in a catastrophe that isn't expected to happen for another five or six billion years.

Since Homo sapiens has only been around for about 300,000 years, it also seems very unlikely that our descendants will still be Homo sapiens if they do manage to survive another five or six billion years.

"like spores dispersed through the cold, dark cosmos" and "like Hebrews in Sinai" do not seem equivalent to me. As I recall, the "Hebrews in Sinai" didn't experience a diaspora until they were no longer "in Sinai" (and some might argue that the Hebrews' descendants were no longer "Hebrews" at that point).

Just one reader's thoughts. Others may see it differently.

Hi, Julie!

Thanks for dropping in and sharing your always interesting and helpful thoughts.

I’ll give the third stanza another think.

Glenn

Hi Glenn - I like the imagery of our existence being limited to an escape room that we are endlessly trying to figure out how to escape. Reading a lot of absurdist and existentialist literature I like the concept of “we still have no clear, ultimate guarantee that we will understand our purpose and place in the universe.” I also like the subtlety of the capital S. Nice work.

Hi, Harry—

Welcome to the ‘Sphere! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for weighing in.

Glenn

It's fun - apocalyptic fun - Glenn, but the idea that the universe wants to destroy us is the major problem here. Frankly, my dear, it couldn't give a damn. So you might want to reword that a little. (You might not.)

But it is good rollicking fun - apart from the end, where it all falls to pieces (but is that quite a good concrete joke on your part?). You might also want to revisit "entropy", where the rhythm seems to demand "EN-tro-PEE", although it's got a good old-fashioned ballady effect which doesn't seem completely out of place.

Cheers

David

Hi, David—

Thanks for stopping by, David. I enjoy and appreciate getting your responses.

Glenn

Hi, Glenn!

Originally Posted by David
It's fun - apocalyptic fun - Glenn, but the idea that the universe wants to destroy us is the major problem here. Frankly, my dear, it couldn't give a damn. So you might want to reword that a little. (You might not.)
The reference to the universe wanting to destroy us was intended as a tip of the hat to Frost’s “Fire and Ice.”

Does the universe in “Fire and Ice” want to destroy us? I don't get that impression. Yes, people have destructive desires and hates, which are compared to fire and ice; but the fire and ice themselves aren't necessarily sentient in Frost's poem.

I think the standard pronunciation of entropy is EN-tro-pee, which can be promoted to EN-tro-PEE, but it's the required promotion of the third syllable (in addition to the default first syllable) that feels awkward to David. Is that right?

Hi, Julie—

You’re right that in Frost’s poem, fire and ice are the means of destruction, not the initiators of it. But the Second Law of Thermodynamics decrees that entropy/disorder increases over time in a closed system, so I suppose it would be more accurate to say that the universe is programmed to insure our ultimate destruction (at least, the material, physical part of us). I personified the universe, thus making this destruction intentional.

I hear the secondary stress in the third syllable of “entropy” as strong enough to make the final foot of the line an iamb.

Thanks for staying with this.

Glenn

Hello,

This is actually the first poem, within Eratosphere, I give my humble feedback on.

I quite like your poem, it's simple, existentialist, apocalyptic, and doesn't utilize any extravagant techniques to enhance the sound in anyway apart from loosely following the scheme, and changing some of the feet - length's, especially in the first stanza, where I noticed you kept a Tetrameter in both the second and fourth verse, whilst only keeping the Pentameter in the first one, and having a Hexameter in the third. I actually wanted to ask, Why did you choose to change the linear model of the pentameter only in the first stanza, and in the last?

Anyway, the fact that you kept the pentameter for the rest of the poem until the end could maybe imply the devastating and vexing effects of such a final thought (in which metric dies) that despite any 'hypothetical' effort to escape this galaxy being successful or not, there's still the (realistic) risk of a neutral void to encounter subsequent to such. If this is the case, then I think that maybe, and this is just my opinion, you could have tried to make it equally as impactful by keeping the last stanza in the same metric.

Bravo! I think of it as a nice poem to read whilst I'm feeling overconfident of my achievements, or vice versa, when I am subsided by anything. Vanity!