This is to honour Milton Friedman,
the thinking harlot's good is greed man,
The customer is always right where
lesser mortals see a nightmare.
Dig it, fell it, drain, despite their
lamentations. See if I care.

Quincy Lehr, so what?
Just let him rot.

Top of the class,
he failed to pass
the test of life –
his kids and wife.

ETCHED IN STONE

1.

They said I was a 'hypochondriac',
but now, I guess, they’ll have to take it back.


2.

Here lies Mozart,
dead, not dozing,
a great composer
decomposing.

3.

Poor guy, his lot in life was sad.
He wasn’t smart and he wasn’t rich.
He wronged the one true friend he had.
And so I killed the son-of-a-bitch.


4.

Here, beneath this slab of stone,
flesh degraded, crumbling bone,
lies a man who hoped you’d laugh
to read a flippant epitaph.

The doctors tried but couldn’t cure a
dying man who with bravura
wrote this rhyme so all might laugh
to read a flippant epitaph.

His thoughts? He could not write them all.
Art is long. The stone is small.
So he resolved to make you laugh
to read a flippant epitaph.

5.

They put my body in this hole
with a marker to make it appear
that this is the address of my soul.
It’s not. Just my body is here.

Quincy, Duncan and Roger/Bob, great stuff.

Keep em coming. I might choose my own from the bunch. At least I would if I didn't know I'll end up in an urn--if I'm lucky.

Here lies Janet in this urn
Who willed that her remains should burn.
Reflect upon the way she went:
She cared for the environment.

[BTW did any of you see the scene in "Meet the Fockers" where Mother's ashes fall off the mantelpiece and the cat starts digging in them... but that's another story]

1.
Buried six feet under,
beneath this stone rests Marion,
where she will not be plundered
by birds and beasts of carrion.


2.
Although she left with lots
of baggage, did our Marion,
She's learning she can't take
it with her, not even carry-on.


3.
Beloved friends, don't grieve for me,
I've taken that celestial road
To where there's an infinity
of Honeymooners episodes.

On urn burials, there is this Herrick classic:

......In this little urn is laid
......Prudence Baldwin, once my maid,
......From whose happy spark here let
......Spring the purple violet.

Re "Meet the Fokkers," how about Judi Dench's disposal of the ashes in <u>The Shipping News</u>?



[This message has been edited by Jan D. Hodge (edited August 06, 2008).]

The Suicides

Here lies John,
who couldn't hack it,
so put on
a daisy jacket.

Here lies Pete,
who couldn't cope,
so aired his feet
beneath a rope.

Here lies Bill,
who sighed, "Alas."
Took a pill,
and now he's grass.

Here lies Jim,
who railed at fate,
or most of him,
at any rate.

Here lies Mark,
a heap of ash;
a whole heap higher
than his heap of cash.