Well, here it is. It doesn't strictly have to be a poem, but we are poetry people, are we not?

No. 2577: Give me five
You are invited to supply definitions of five types of anything you choose. Walk? Kiss? Farewell? It’s up to you. Entries to ‘Competition 2577’ by 2 January or email lucy@spectator.co.uk.

Incidentaly, the results to that anagrammatic thing are in this week's issue. I have saved this amazing effort for you. It is an anagram of the first stanza of Larkin's 'Aubade'. Sheer genius!

Aubade

Wife or husband: both will drop,
Quiet, day or night —
Everything will rant, screw, stop,
End: you will feel its bite.

Then, aren’t we a mess,
Unmanned, torn? Wait:
Chum, try and undress.
We’re late.

Desires? Seen the clock?
Sssh: noises bang,
Bang true: that’s it: and tock! —
The fever warns: Go hang.

I hate to say it, son, but death
Will geld you in the end:
Hitched or not, it’s lack of breath
Will annul all sense, my friend.

Bill Greenwell

DACTYLS

Fumbly-thumbly,
off to the side from the
four that oppose it in
primates and men:
up means a yes, while a
gladiatorial
down meant you fought but you
wouldn’t again.

Jointerly pointerly,
porer, indicter and
picker and chooser of
("Yes, we want YOU!"),
wind-speed assessor and
(superadaptable)
shssher and triggerer,
what can’t it do?

Middling-diddling,
this one is frequently
given in anger to
motoring berks,
those who cut in on you
anal-retentively —
give them the middle and
watch how it works.

Ring-a-ding-ding-erly,
why is it this one that’s
chosen to signify
somebody’s hitched —
till it instead wears a
postmatrimonial
circle of white once the
spouse has been ditched?

Minimus-schinimus,
toffee-nosed tea-drinkers
see its deployment as
quite de rigueur;
call it ridiculous
ultrapretentiousness
over their pinkies, and
I will concur.



[This message has been edited by peterjb (edited December 19, 2008).]

Tour de force, Peter.

Susan

Like Susan said Peter.

Like Susan and Janet said. Really clever.

Tactile Dactyls - very deft!

Frank

Enter it, Peter.
They will like it.

Oh these are very good indeed.
Jim

How tiresome you must find all this agreement, Peter, but count me in on the group think.

Sorry, that was a drive-by DD shooting, and I've only now returned to the crime scene. Thanks for the encouragement. I'll send it in.