![]() |
Tim--Got sidetracked on the other thread. Some examples Traditional and Contemporary in an Iambic or accentual Dimeter.
|
One of mine here, iambic dimeter:
At Trader Vic’s, A tiki bar, A lady picks A tacky jar Of witch’s brew, With parasols. Now watch her spew The alcohols. |
I won't pretend this poem of mine is any good, but it's in dimeter so I'll post it to help get things started. Obviously, dimeter is a rather constraining meter to write in, and villanelles are a constraining form, so have some pity. Better poems are sure to follow as the thread develops:
SPEAKING ONLY FOR MYSELF I don’t like pain, but then, who does? I’m not insane when I complain. It’s just because I don’t like pain. As normal a brain as there ever was, I’m not insane and will not feign. Among my flaws: I don’t like pain or think that gain must keep its laws. I’m not insane. Let others strain to praise sharp claws. I don’t like pain. I’m not insane. |
Bob, your poem reminds me that pain causes insanity ;).
Well, this isn't the place for crits (or else I might mention your penultimate stanza as being the easily improvable one), so here are a few quick copy and pastes from my Soon to be Submitted (But Where?) File: Luigi Pirandello did not care for yellow; he rushed to and fro if one ordered Pernod. Federico Garcia Lorca was allergic to pork; a faulty diagnosis said he had trichinosis. Frank R. O’Hara kept his date with samsara; it’s when sleeping on beaches that a poet overreaches. Beatle John Lennon studied his zen an’ soon understood Yoko had always been loco. Neil Young was coming unstrung. All of his back-ups were headed for crack-ups. Federico Garcia Lorca wrote a play in Majorca in which Salvador Dali played an ingénue in Bali. Emmett Grogan erected a Hogan built out of granola and rose hips acerola. Morgan Le Fay made a fast getaway when an innocent idyll ended up homicidal. Mad Monk Rasputin could digest only gluten; to serve him a shashlik was rash and impolitic. Terese |
Terese, I'm sure you noted that a couple of your clerihews are not in dimeter, as no particular meter is required for a clerihew. I have not done many dimetric poems, though I have one over at The Deep End now. Dimeters seem to me especially good for faster-paced pieces, and they can better expose your best phrases.
W/G [This message has been edited by Golias (edited January 10, 2003).] |
Although I don't employ it nearly as often as I do ballad stanza or trimeter, I've written tons of dimeter. This is probably my most successful attempt. Carolina Quarterly characterized it as Murphy's epigrammatic Paradise Lost, and it is identical in stanza with Frost's The Dust of Snow and with Hardy's The Wound, with which I began the loose iambics thread.
The Expulsion Six weeks of drought, the corn undone and wheat burned out by the brazen sun: over that land an angel stands with an iron brand singeing his hands. |
I write in dimeter not infrequently. I find it a very compelling meter, that often has a lot of energy.
This piece is accentual dimeter until the end, when I deliberately changed in order to change the energy. "Put the kettle on, Eliza - Miz Autumn's back in town" Autumn blew in with a gust of wind scattering leaves like careless kisses. "Missus Maria - How grand to see ya! How long has it been? A year? My dear! The places I've seen!" She rustles and bustles. "I can't settle, yet -- now don't worry, pet: I'll be back at your place once I've put on my face, and we'll have ourselves a veritable confabulation, with mulled cider, warm rugs, and Turkish Delight through all the lengthening nights until Winter. |
Dimeters are not that constraining (except in villanelles),
and they are wonderful when they're wonderful, as in that (very loose) dimeter poem of Larkin's, and in poem after poem of Hardy's--I'll list a few of his dimeter masterpieces: Lonely Days, The Moon Looks In, Timing Her, Lament, I Need Not Go, and--best of all (it would be my nomination for best poem in dimeters in the English language, maybe in any language ---To Lizbie Browne. ( And I've mentioned just some of his best ones, there are others.) |
Golias
Yes, I noticed after posting that there's no way Lorca's full name can be construed as dimeter, even when saying it quite fast! Ditto the ingenue line, but I was busy and left them up. My apologies, G! ;) Ya got me there. |
Indeed,Bob, "Lizbie Browne," which can be read simply by entering "lizbie" at either AltaVista or Google, is a most endearing poem in dimeter. However, my all-time favorite remains "The Bridge of Sighs" by Thomas Hood. It made me weep up as a youth and it still evokes a tear and a sigh. In Venice one may often pass the spot where Hood's drowned, unknown girl would have been laid to await identification. It's not right by the Bridge of Sighs, but upon the Bridge of Straw below, from which one views the Bridge of Sighs.
ONE more Unfortunate, Weary of breath, Rashly importunate, Gone to her death! Take her up tenderly, Lift her with care; Fashion'd so slenderly Young, and so fair! Look at her garments Clinging like cerements; Whilst the wave constantly Drips from her clothing; Take her up instantly, Loving, not loathing. Touch her not scornfully; Think of her mournfully, Gently and humanly; Not of the stains of her, All that remains of her Now is pure womanly. Make no deep scrutiny Into her mutiny Rash and undutiful: Past all dishonour, Death has left on her Only the beautiful. Still, for all slips of hers, One of Eve's family— Wipe those poor lips of hers Oozing so clammily. Loop up her tresses Escaped from the comb, Her fair auburn tresses; Whilst wonderment guesses Where was her home? Who was her father? Who was her mother? Had she a sister? Had she a brother? Or was there a dearer one Still, and a nearer one Yet, than all other? Alas! for the rarity Of Christian charity Under the sun! O, it was pitiful! Near a whole city full, Home she had none. Sisterly, brotherly, Fatherly, motherly Feelings had changed: Love, by harsh evidence, Thrown from its eminence; Even God's providence Seeming estranged. Where the lamps quiver So far in the river, With many a light From window and casement, From garret to basement, She stood, with amazement, Houseless by night. The bleak wind of March Made her tremble and shiver; But not the dark arch, Or the black flowing river: Mad from life's history, Glad to death's mystery, Swift to be hurl'd— Anywhere, anywhere Out of the world! In she plunged boldly— No matter how coldly The rough river ran— Over the brink of it, Picture it—think of it, Dissolute Man! Lave in it, drink of it, Then, if you can! Take her up tenderly, Lift her with care; Fashion'd so slenderly, Young, and so fair! Ere her limbs frigidly Stiffen too rigidly, Decently, kindly, Smooth and compose them; And her eyes, close them, Staring so blindly! Dreadfully staring Thro' muddy impurity, As when with the daring Last look of despairing Fix'd on futurity. Perishing gloomily, Spurr'd by contumely, Cold inhumanity, Burning insanity, Into her rest.— Cross her hands humbly As if praying dumbly, Over her breast! Owning her weakness, Her evil behaviour, And leaving, with meekness, Her sins to her Saviour! |
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:24 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.