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<tr><td>Rays at Cape Hatteras

The cownose rays are showing off today.
They flip themselves like flapjacks in hot pans
of Carolina surf, and when one lands
the splat reverberates a mile away.
Sometimes you see the backs of their whale-gray
pectoral fins, outstretched like flipper-hands;
or else they show their bellies as they dance,
white slabs with grins carved out, as if from clay.

In great outlays of energy, they burst
through breakers, moved by some instinctive wish
to flounder in the air. Their flight is brief
and clumsy, evolution having cursed
these would-be herons with the flesh of fish:
rude fliers in the face of disbelief.



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[center]<table bgcolor=white cellpadding=25 border=0><tr><td>This poem begins with such a perfectly apt image--the rays "flipping themselves like flapjacks"--that the reader is drawn into the experience at once, and then not disappointed by the highly visual stanza he walks into, right down to the "grins carved out, as if from clay." What a playful view of living things! And how apt to end with the biblical stuff of creation that links us to the ray.

The sestet is another kind of delight--auditory. It picks up the "clay" sound and repeats it in two words, and then goes on to an orgy of alliteration that continues the playfulness, down to that wonderful ending full of Fs, ''showing off," like the ray/flapjacks. Glorious ending!

~Rhina

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This is one of the most living sonnets I have seen on this board.

It is a breathing, pulsing thing.

And it makes me smile every time I read it, just like the first time.

Sure, you might find things you think could be improved, but what's the point? It would be like trying to glue wings on a ray. The thing is living quite well as it is.

Change nothing.

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Mark Allinson

Rhina,
I don't have anything to add to your comments other than to endorse them. It's an absolutely beautiful poem that gladdens my heart.
Janet

Just to add to the chorus of praise. Am glad no-one has objected to the heavy use of 'f' alliteration in the sestet. It is IMO entirely appropriate to the theme and tone of this exuberant and amusing piece!
Margaret.

I love this poem. The subject is so fresh and original, and the treatment is so energetic. Full of joie de vivre!

Regards, Maz

.

[This message has been edited by nyctom (edited December 07, 2004).]

Yes, this one has an infectious energy, vivid images, and sheer delight in the music of words. One can be surprised by joy in the most unexpected places: the comic picture of the rays doing flips so exuberantly could make any reader smile.

Susan

This is an OK poem. Just OK though.

It demonstrates the use of DANCE. Poets always dancing with their muses and subject matter you know.

I personally think this should be avoided. Especially with ocean faring vessels and sea life.

Wonderful, controlled wordplay by a writer who sometimes plays a bit too much - but not this time. Here, the language is controlled and graceful - and delightful - throughout, and the joy of the poem mirrors that of the rays. One of this poet's best.

Michael Cantor

I already offered to publish it. http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/smile.gif Yus yus, I think it's excellent. Exuberance is a quality I wish more poetry had, and this one has it.

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Steve Schroeder