Excoriatory Verse
 

I was musing on the venal bastard bankers who have stolen my money and the idle, stupid politicians who have let them and this verse sprang fully formed (well almost) to my mind. I share it with you and ask if anyone else can come up with similar excoriatory verse. Is it a new genre? Incidentally, did Charles Laughton actually SAY the opening line. I blush to admit that I've never actually seen this masterpiece of populat culture.

God’s Bounty

Not Brown nor Cameron nor even Vince Cable; there is only one man the country needs.

Rig the gratings, Mr Christian.
We are going to flog a banker.
Call the ratings, Mr Christian,
Now my soul begins to hanker
For the backbone of a banker.
Furl the sails and drop the anchor,
Mr Christian.

Raise the yardarm, Mr Christian.
We will hang a politician.
There’s no pardon, Mr Christian
For a man of his condition.
When you hang a politician
It improves with repetition,
Mr Christian.

Roll the guns out, Mr Christian.
We can terminate the scumbags.
See, the sun’s out, Mr Christian!
Let our bellies be our rumbags
When we terminate the scumbags.
Stuff their heads into our bumbags,
Mr Christian.

John

As I said somewhere else in these pages - my brother is a banker. I said banker. An Accursed breed for sure.

This is excellent!

I am going to have to rise to this challenge.

Philip

Let the train take the strain
 

I hate to complain but...

As a quiet carriage user
I detest the cell-phone "loser"
who must bray about his sex life next to me.

And the iPod "tisser"'s tiss
tends to take the living piss,
I'm trying to focus on my crossword - can't he see?

Though you may call me a curmudgeon
for my righteously high dudgeon
should I have to ask him thrice to let me out to have a pee?

I paid a fortune for the thrill
of watching squaddies belch and swill
their Tennants lager on the way to Catter-ick.

They may have got through the basic training
but they're due a f***ing braining:
did I board this train to paddle in their sick?

I'm between a rock and hard place
(did you see that scene in Scarface
where the chainsaw sorts the problem good and quick?)

Should I terminate my journey?
Should I put them on a gurney?
have revenge, but compromise my peaceful mien?

To be a Buddhist, wait for Karma?
Or to act like Jeffrey Dahmer?
Well I ain't no Dalai Lama - I am gonna make a scene.

They say the train will take the strain.
What if I pull the bloody chain?
and make it shudder to a halt in nowhere-ville?

I'd get a fine for wrongful use,
for "pulling chains without excuse":
a Pyrrhic victory. On second thoughts I'll shut up and sit still...

Since I have lost thousands and the bankers are getting billions, I suggest we incorporate the Sphere as a business and apply for a govenment Poetry Bailout.

Maybe there's at least a poem in that...

Dear Gail

In your Utopia, will there be year end bonuses????

:-)

P

A while back, I'm not sure when, I posted the following on the Deep End. Since the subject fits this thread, I'll drop it in for a return engagement.

Plutocracy Triumphant

Look! Deep inside the devil’s den
Nest bankers, lawyers, businessmen
Who weave a diabolic spell
That leads us blindly down to hell.
But they’ll not share our fiery fate
Because they’ll own the real estate.
We’ll pay to keep the furnace fed
And they will watch from overhead.
From heaven they will rule the horde,
For I suspect they own the Lord.

Richard

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Refined

The price of gas has fueled a need
beyond our means, so now we feed
our children, not with meat, but gruel
(and tell ourselves it isn't cruel).
And what about those Wal-Mart greeters
who can't afford to fill their beaters?
We're slaves indeed to two-buck litres;
we need another source of fuel--
If only we could process greed!

If Laughton didn't say it, he should have.

Desiderrata

Some folks say, "Don't sweat the small stuff."
.....Some folks say, "Laugh, learn, and live."
Some folks say, "You shouldn't call stuff
.....horrible. Stay positive!"
Some folks say, "Intentions haul stuff
.....into being. Hope! Don't quit!"
I believe those folks should all stuff
.....it.

Julie that's perfect!