Deck the Halls 6: Dark Gardens
 

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/pictur...=3&pictureid=4

Dark Gardens

Strange--how we tended death and you didn't wince
at heaping earth on rabbit, dog, and lizard
in well-manured ground along the fence,
planted with posies made from twigs then scissored
into crosses--strange now, how its advent's
grown hypothetical. And we assume
the time to render it faint. It has turned
in the distance; perhaps a foreign room,
a lightning strike, a shark, a hundred ways
that don't bear thinking of. But just in case,
I trust a special stillness on your tongue,
immunity from fear you must have learned
from seed you swallowed digging in the dung.

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/pictur...=3&pictureid=4

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/pictur...=3&pictureid=4

And who is this behind Door #6? ;-)

Musical, lovely title, apt without being dull. lizard/scissored is an enviable rhyme pair. I love the mystique of this poem -- the shadows and verbal/psychic "crevices" between phrases. The "foreign room" for example, is a wonderful evocation, an original and mysterious image.

Deft handling of the volta, and I can't help but wonder if your use of "turned" is an intentional inside joke. In line 5, you might clarify the subject by replacing "its" with "Death's."

Terrific, also, is this poem in its insight that the fearlessness arises from preparation and practice (symbolized by the "well-manured ground" and the painstaking care with which the fence has been wrought, the fence being representative and illustrative of a personality at peace with human limitation). Trusting in the stillness is nicely put.

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/pictur...=3&pictureid=4

I'm not persuaded by the octave, probably because I don't know how you plant ground with posies made of scissored twigs, nor even what a posie is??? But the sestet is just socko.

An interesting poem. I'm not 100% sure what it's about, and perhaps that's partly why it seems so ominous. I gather that someone did learn fear when they were digging in the dung, but later became immune to it. I suppose it's fear of death. The last line, however, is worded in a rather unfortunate way especially in view of the two lines that come before it, and consequently it almost looks like there's some really dark stuff going on here.

This is ****

Good stuff. The right stuff.

1. "Seed swallowed digging in the dung" grants immunity from fear?
Apart from the coarse suggestiveness, the thought makes no sense.

2. We assume the time to render it faint. If "it" means death, how does one "render" death? And how can time be "faint?"

3. The childhood preparation for death should offer a poignant backdrop to
the author's more mature thoughts;instead, I can't tell what is going on the in the last lines. I hope the author was so engrossed in the writing he/she didn't catch the distasteful implication of the last line.

This one is compelling. I keep coming back to it...becaue I have to! There is an
ineffable quality to it that that becomes richer the more I understand the poem.

Rick

Very, very nice. Subtle, and understated, in spite of the theme. I love this line:

I trust a special stillness on your tongue,

Beautiful work.

Thanks,

Bill