Speccie: Uninviting
 

Martin Parker and Bill Greenwell were in the money this week, and Julie Stoner just out of it. I'm talking about palinodes. You can see the winners under Competition below.

The new competition is this one, not obviously a poem, but see what I append below.

No. 2632: Uninviting
You are invited to supply the wording of the classified ad that is least likely to illicit a response (100 words maximum). Please email entries, where possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 27 January.

Now, for those of you who have never come across it, here is an obvious winner of this competition. Unfortunately for me, I didn't write it. Ronald Knox did.

An Anglican curate, in want of a portable, second-hand font, will exchange for the same a portrait (in frame) of the Bishop-elect of Vermont.

Is "illicit" on purpose or a typo?

And what obvious winner are you referencing?

Thanks for posting this!

Nope. It's Lucy's typo. As I said above, I didn't spot it but you and Chris did.

Ronald Knox put this into some Holy paper. They accepted it as genuine, not noticing...

Fixer-upper: needs a buyer with an open mind.
No down payment! Owner finance!
Discount for the blind!

One more!

Monumental Mismark Sale!
Supply is limited!
Headstones (3) the perfect gift
For Ralf or Roze or SSid.

Love the tombstones!

Here's a short prose one:

AUCTION: Quaint Sussex village, deserted. Talk of Black Death
just a rumor.

Audio book: 'A la recherche du temps purdu' by Marcel Proust, in French, complete on 384 78 rpm gramophone records (two discs broken).

I bet you'd sell that, Holly. Who's reading it? I suggest Erich Von Stroheim.

Make Offer

King Size Mattress--Multi-Colored
(white with blotchy red)
Recent widow--relocating.
Need to sell this bed!

Retired doctor seeks subjects for cutting-edge research into life after death. Free accommodation in historic European castle. Possible immortality.