I think it’s well done on the whole. I’m not sure I can find a volta, but maybe it’s not necessary. In the main, the sonnet doesn’t seem to change much from its starting point of a community where everything adheres to certain rules. At the end of the sonnet the flag, garden gnome, etc. are just further examples of the conformity, in my view.
I think the word “Navy” in the title is important because if we didn’t see this as Navy housing it would seem no different from any surburban (row-house) community. The “Navy” gives the poem a bit of edge.
I like the dog. But I was surprised at the “ankle-length grass” – that’s way too long for a place like this. The lawn needs a Navy crewcut.
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