Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Cantor
Is David Lynch competing? Wow!
I had a mixed reaction to this. Technically, it's superb. Everything is well handled, the voice is pitch perfect, it's creepy and eerie and well done. My only nit would be that, with the empasis on uniformity, you want to get those iambs bumping into place at the start, not leading with a ("Jones Street") spondee, unless that's deliberate - the David Lynch signal that something's wrong on Jones Street. Assuming it's not, I'd suggest:
On Adams Street each house is painted white,
all doors are white....
My objection is that it's been done. Over and over. In articles and stories and films, if not specifically in a sonnet. So much skill - but nothing new is said. A+ for execution, C for originality.
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Er, I live on an Adams Street, but I don't mind the Jones rhythm. In fact, I prefer it. But I agree that with a common topic it's the execution that really counts. Everyone has painted flowers, but the great museums only hang stunners. As a child I almost lived in one of these zones, and I remember the visit sharply. Let it be.