I thought the conceit of this poem was interesting and I did not see the conclusion coming. In fact, my first reaction to "New York" was to think it was a jab at the city, though an instant later I caught the 9/11 allusion, so it did work. I feel that the Petrarchan form is forcing some awkward rhymes in the octave's second quatrain. Switching to a different set of rhymes for the envelope rhyme there might allow more content, instead of phrases that seem to be there mainly to carry the rhyme:
For creatures that crave pleasure, breathe, and laugh.
And yet this sheer cliff seems to telegraph
Deep human hurt; tears glisten down it all.
I would also say that "midst" in L12 comes across as being a rather musty word. A weeping cliff is a powerful image, one that I think is worth building a poem around.
Susan
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