I, too, like the opening of this sonnet. The first four lines are very good.
A very big leap is taken in this sonnet – the leap from the volcano to the horrors in the last line. This is the basis for making the leap:
And yet this sheer cliff seems to telegraph
Deep human hurt; tears glisten down it all.
Unfortunately, those lines don’t work for me. I need a reason to equate the water in the volcano with tears and deep human hurt, and I can’t find one. The association is too weak. It doesn’t make it any better when the “tears” appear again, in L12: Why here, midst tears.
For me, the sonnet collapses midway and nothing after that is credible.
|