Thread: Café Noir
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Unread 04-04-2009, 06:15 AM
A. E. Stallings A. E. Stallings is offline
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Location: Athens, Greece
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This is electric with energy and some fun rhymes. I'm OK with the meter being deliberately rough, but line three feels wordy as well as hyper-metrical. Ah, wait... "you said" must belong to line four. Is that a typo? Or a deliberately prosaic dividing up of rhymed/metrical lines? Hmmm.

Not entirely sure about the plot of this, or the sudden introduction of "I"--but I'm willing to overlook a lot in a sonnet that rhymes Lexus with Texas.

Maybe it is part of a series?

PS line 12 scansion doesn't bother me--a trimeter is an acceptable sub. in ip anyway. I like the odd short line in a sonnet, if it is emphatic.
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