Well-built, to be sure. The site is painted well -- the shattered carafe is a brilliant image. But the last four and a half lines successively put me off. L12 seems way out of place to me, and I feel let down by the last two lines. The last line is, after giving it some thought, surprisingly confusing. The references are so sparse and specific that the message is obscured. But I am not sure the message would have resonated for me anyway, even if the last lines were done perfectly -- the connection between the octave and the sestet is not well made for me.
David R.
Last edited by David Rosenthal; 04-04-2009 at 09:41 AM.
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