[R. Nemo Hill]

Fine, but not very exciting.

I did jerk involuntarily at the word stub in L3. Though I realize the poet didn't want to use the word stump twice in one short poem, still stub seems a sore-thumbish synonym.

In L4 I am convinced that a paralleling of the article before fall with that in L6 before fast collapse would be more rhythmic.

Neither our home nor we were spared the fall
of less corporeal timber all around:
the fast collapse of structures at their roots
That's brought uncounted households to the ground

And I think that L6 itself, the fast collapse of structures at their roots, is a rather ungainly description.

As for corporeal, it doesn't bother me as much as others, though it twists the tongue a bit in context.

Overall, well, I think that this could be a much shorter poem, and that the form here has dragged out the description and delayed the moment of insight so long as to dilute its requisite moment of wisdom.

Nemo