I think you can worry too much about these things. There seems to be an impression that the critter/critted relationship is totally passive, that the critted sits there and takes it. Well, speaking for myself, I take and leave crits as I see fit. If I think someone's just being mean for sport well, I would probably tend to disregard what that person is saying (it doesn't happen here, but on another poetry forum I frequent where some people seem to delight in being vicious). If I think the person hasn't "got" my poem, well, then that's probably a fault in the way I've expressed myself. If I think a person doesn't really know what they're talking about (again, it hasn't happened here but on that Other Forum), I take what I can from their crit but tend to give it less weight than someone who DOES seem to know what they're talking about.
When I crit these days, I try and be positive about at least one thing to encourage the person, but I don't believe in the "shit sandwich" approach (nice, nasty, nice) to criticism.
Anyway, thems me thoughts.
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