Quote:
Originally Posted by Eva Salzman
The other thing that's shocking is the entrenched general feeling, among men especially, that there no longer is a problem, and the utter vitriol that comes in response to brining up this apparently totally taboo issue. Yes, from many men.
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How many men, Eva?
Of course I can only go by what I've read here - and here we're only hearing from a very small number of male members - 16 of them to be exact.
Of those 16 there are 3 who could easily (and properly) be conceived as being pretty extremely sexist in attitude and tone and 1 who might be - but since I know him well I'd argue against the label and claim duress - after all, the board they are associated has been maligned both here and on Poetic Justice and he is, rightfully, indignant. Hell, I'm a woman and I'm rather indignant over it.
There are 8 various responses from other men who are questioning you, yes, but I think that's allowable under the Sexism Rules of War. (And if it's not, it's on you to make it so. There's no reasonable reason to ignore questions or blow them off as harrassing when it's clear from stats quoted and facts mentioned that they aren't.) Of those 8 men three of them are editors and they did little more than offer you statistics from their own ventures.
And then there are the 4 remaining men - all of which came out clearly on the side of womanhood - although even they seem to be having their motives and their word-choices questioned.
So that's three men-
three - who might be justly accused of being vitriolic - three out of how many? 16 who've responded and hundreds who could have but haven't.
Hardly an
entrenched general feeling and certainly not
many men.
To base the motives and beliefs of the multitude of men here or anywhere based on the responses of three men - actually on the basis of one, really, since two of the men I've assigned the label "sexist" to was a bit of stretch since they didn't actually say much other than to buddy up to the one who WAS saying much -seems a bit of a stretch.
When you look for sexism you will find it - when it's all you look for it's all you'll find. It would do people well everywhere, to look beyond what you're seeking and find the otherness that also exists.
Instead of harping on the few who've fed your flame why not pay attention to everyone who's bothered to respond to you and admit that there were at least 4 others who came out strongly on the side of womankind and 8 who were trying to be honest and helpful and be delightfully suprised and filled with hope and wonder?
If one finds what one is looking for and then bothers to look no further one cuts off her nose to spite her own face.
it also makes it appear that you're not really looking for equality - you're looking for proof of inequality and steering the conversation in the direction which you think proves your point.
The truth is, however, you've steered it in the wrong direction by concentrating on the few die-hard sexists who do exist, and who will continue to exist until they die off, and that's hurtful and utterly unfair to those guys who took the time to speak their minds and offer their opinions in your favor. It's also ultimately destructive to the fence-sitters who haven't spoken at all - because it's not hard to see what direction they'll turn when unfairly accused and attacked.
There's nothing like issuing a generalized diss to turn people off of your cause.