Clive,
I understood the basics of what you have written. As we say in English poetry, hendecasyllabic.
My comments were a continuation of our discussion about the nature of rhyme in Italian and in English and involved the line endings only. Not really sensible in this case but it connected with previous posts. The scansion is a simple matter I agree.
I also agree that it's more furious than funny but it is also defiant and impudent which brings it a little closer to Byron.
I will return. This is really a discussion about humour in poetry and we had agreed that rhyme is very important. There are of course plenty of unrhymed humorous poems.
Here to go on with is a dark humorous unrhymed poem (much less good) by Roger McGough. And even this one depends greatly on internal rhyme for its humour.
Best,
Janet
Let Me Die a Youngman's Death
Let me die a youngman's death
not a clean and inbetween
the sheets holywater death
not a famous-last-words
peaceful out of breath death
When I'm 73
and in constant good tumour
may I be mown down at dawn
by a bright red sports car
on my way home
from an allnight party
Or when I'm 91
with silver hair
and sitting in a barber's chair
may rival gangsters
with hamfisted tommyguns burst in
and give me a short back and insides
Or when I'm 104
and banned from the Cavern
may my mistress
catching me in bed with her daughter
and fearing for her son
cut me up into little pieces
and throw away every piece but one
Let me die a youngman's death
not a free from sin tiptoe in
candle wax and waning death
not a curtains drawn by angels borne
'what a nice way to go' death
[This message has been edited by Janet Kenny (edited July 13, 2007).]
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