I would disagree about maintaining the content of the final line moral. I think the change has been too great, and that the translation's moral is not nearly as funny or wise or pithy, resorting as it does to cliche (don't lose your heads) as opposed to morphing cliche in an unexpected way to gain insight as does the original. The translation's moral is too slight light verse for me.
I also don't like the construction of L2 at all, with the pronouns separated by the em-dash (or is it a hyphen? I can't tell). I find it a needlessly distracting and confusing path to get to the rhyme word.
But then I confess I'm not all that fond of the poem to begin with. All it has going for it is that strangely convoluted moral, which is gone in translation.
Nemo
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