View Single Post
  #7  
Unread 09-18-2009, 10:05 PM
Martin Elster Martin Elster is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 7,587
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Whitworth View Post
Thank you Martin. And let me extend my congratulations for your Hardy poem which is, in Brando-speak, a real contender. I didn't know about the sheep. How interesting and how much in Hardy's favour it is. I would prefer the stanza to run this way. It seems to run better. What do you think?
Thanks, John! I think my poem still needs work, though, which I'm going to do now. A couple of the lines don't sound right, and I now think it should end with "is a place where all creatures have worth" instead of on the voles and birds line. I think that would make for a stronger ending. So, I'll repost it when I get it to sound better.

I'm not clear on what you mean by the stanza running "this way." Are you referring to your stanza or mine?

Hardy was also a famous cat lover. I'm wondering if I should replace one of those animals like the vole or horse with a cat.

Martin

Added in: I made a revision of the Hardy poem above. I'm wondering if it sounds better. I think it does, but I'm never positive about these things.

Last edited by Martin Elster; 09-19-2009 at 01:10 AM.
Reply With Quote