[Philip Quinlan]

The preference for Guarnieri fiddles was a fad,
for none of them had the quite the sound that Stradavari had;
they were to the violin as, to the camera, Hasselblad,
unlike the Dyson to the vacuum which was merely "not too bad".

The secret Stradivarius knew was passed on by his dad;
he learned to lacquer and to purfle when he was nought but a lad.
He died without divulging it, which made the scientists sad
and so a secret Strad symposium was held in Stalingrad.

Was it wood, or wax, or glue, or tacks? A special kind of brad?
Whatever could explain the plaintive beauty of the Strad?
They examined one with X-rays and a radio doo-dad,
but even ultraviolet light could not enlighten them a tad.

It's just a fiddle, faddle, fiddle, faddle, fiddle fad, the Strad.
You've got God's gift to mankind there beneath your chin - play it!. Be glad!

Philip

OK - Thomas Beacham's line was funnier and he got there first. To a lady cellist:

"You've got God's gift to mankind there between your legs - and all you can do is sit and scratch it"