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Unread 01-03-2010, 07:59 AM
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Jennifer Reeser Jennifer Reeser is offline
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Super title. I'd like to read a subtle play on "May" there -- "may" also signifying the possible, but unknown. Your detail (deal your Mass card solitaire, etc.) adds so much, in my reading, to texture and import, depth. All the alliteration of S2 I think is splendid, and what beautiful symbolism there -- the gold (value, worth, meaning) with rust (tarnish, decay). So much so, the insertion of the plate tectonics is something of a letdown, a red herring, if you will, coming across as arbitrary.

The exclamation of S4 is a welcome diversion from all the direct "I's" and "you's." I loved the simile of weekend traffic, along with your great "cr" sounds, following. Nice launch of the image with sound.

For me, this one ends in an irresistible negative capability.


Last edited by Sharon Passmore; 01-04-2010 at 09:07 PM.
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