[Max Goodman]

The diapers, wipes, and warmers are
all packed securely in the car,
with stroller, car seat, pacifier,
a hair-(spit-up-on-clothing-)dryer,
the breast pump and the nursing bra,
the burp cloths, bottles, formu-la,
the rattle, mobile, music box,
and lots of teeny, tiny socks,
shoes, shirts, pants, blankets--boyish blue--
of course, a change of onesie, too,
and hats and mittens, if there's snow.
We're ready. Where'd the baby go?


Probably too predictable and too full of Americanisms.
Maybe:


Alas, to this week's competition
I cannot contemplate submission.
I have, you see, a one-month son
(As I've been telling everyone).
It took, therefore, no time at all
For me to think about a small,
Important object I'd lament
The loss of. Should this heaven-sent
And infinitely precious prize
Be lost... The thought just horrifies.
All parents are aware my peace,
At such a loss, would fully cease.
Of this misfortune parent folk
Could never even think to joke;
The tragedy would be too dire.
(I mean, of course, his pacifier.)

Is "pacifier" what you folks call it in Britain, too?