Quote:
Originally Posted by Susan McLean
Congratulations, Frank, Basil, Bill, and Chris!
Susan
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Thanks for congratulating me when I didn't win! Here are my losers:
with apologies to The Seekers
How I sigh when I discover
That my entries have not won
I may starve this week, believe me
Now the competition’s done
How my heart was palpitating
But the postman brought me pain
Now the competition’s over
I will have to start again
Unlike some, I took a beating
And I wither on the vine
I may die from under-eating
While the winners wine and dine
Thoughts I harbour are appalling
And my crusts are hard and dry
Now the competition’s over
I may waste away and die
and
with apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein
It’s always such fun, though a hundred and one,
To press past the Chess and read Lucy’s report:
To alight on my name and to savour the fame
Of winning the world’s most competitive sport.
Peerlessly I preen as I scan through the also-rans,
Proudly I let my immodesty blaze:
Frankly, I know that I’m one of my greatest fans –
It suits me to read such immutable praise.
Isn’t it great to win The Spectator?
To win bonus fivers whenever one tries:
I read my nurse every notable verse
That has won me the wonderful prize.
Pity for Whitworth, or Basil R-Davies?
Matron, I say, that would hardly be wise:
Let them weep when I win, for it keeps me in gin,
I have won, I have won, I have won, I have won, I have won the most
wonderful prize!