[Max Goodman]

EDMUND:
Goddess Nature, you're great! You're an absolute pip.
. It is thou whom I joyfully serve.
That a bastard's a dastard but never a drip
. Is because you've endowed him with verve.

When one kisses one's missus, one's authorized mate,
. Just because she's convenient at hand,
Maladriot is the coitus--at best second-rate--
. And the offspring resultingly bland.

But when healthily, stealthily, sweetly two sweat,
. And they sport with a spark of esprit,
Such arousal non-spousal is bound to beget
. A magnificent bastard like me.


[Edit in: here's another. As I go on, I seem to be getting less Gilbertian and more plain silly.]

Does a Jew not have eyes? Also organs and size?
. Ditto passions and hands and affections?
Does he not consume food, or consider it rude
. Should a weapon divide him in sections?

If you prick his physique, does he not spring a leak?
. Does a tickle not prompt him to laughter?
If you poison his meal, does he not quickly feel
. Rather poorly, and croak shortly after?

If you do a Jew dirt, will he not seek to hurt
. You right back, just the same as a gentile?
What you've taught me before, I shall copy. My score,
. Though, may reach to a higher percentile.



[Sorry for the stray periods. Only way I could figure out to indent. Proper procedure's been explained to me in the past, but...]