[Jim Hayes]

Ministerial Waffle

My department is committed to relieving the pits, not ‘pit’ pits, ‘pith’ pits, or pulpits, but pits of despair, despondency, desolation, fobbed, foisted and forced on us, and this nation by my opponents, as first and foremost, and I’ll be clear, my prime concern, my only, sole concern, is your welfare, your well-being, my ministry will leave no stone unturned, no door unopened, no opportunity lost, be assured, count on, depend on me, to keep my shoulder to the last and nose to the wheel in unceasing, continued efforts, unselfishly committed without let or leave, to raise all boats for your benefit, boats, we all know, are the lifeblood of this island nation, I will invoke the long-dead spirit of the ancient, and I’ll say great, mariner, Nelson himself, to revive within us another three ‘D’s,-- dedication, determination and de will to win. My little joke.
Har har.
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