Wendy, while it might seem like hair-splitting, I think we need to make a distinction between sentiment and sentimentality. I noticed you placed the terms side by side, as though you think the direct expression of a sentiment is sentimental by definition. I do not agree, and I would cite "The Writer" as my best evidence.
There is nothing inherently sentimental about the image of a stunned and battered bird suddenly taking flight. It is merely an accurate observation of nature. For Wilbur, the image becomes the means of expressing a sentiment about his daughter. I think he evades sentimentality in part because he is fully aware of himself and his limitations. But he is equally aware of his daughter---the mystery of her autonomy---his grief and guilt as a parent. All these feelings imbue the poem; yet they are balanced, rational, and just. There is no hint of the mawkishness, self-exculpation, or self-aggrandizement that are hallmarks of sentimentality.
I'm glad you made the connection between my comment on your poem and this discussion. I think "The Writer" is a superb example for a parent who would write about a child. Go to it, and don't be so shy about your feelings.
Alan Sullivan
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