Bill and Bazza led the field in this very English competition. Our football cliches are all our own and has ever a sportsman been a delightfully boneheaded as David Beckham? Yes one. Frank Bruno, and he too is home grown. I wrote a poem for Bill and here, with no excuse at all, it is. Congratulations of your fiver. The opening line, you will observe, is one of yours.
Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie,
And Tony Blair has got his mirror too.
Tony Blair reminds me of a kludgie,
A word that Scotchmen use when they mean loo.
Meanwhile, here is the new competition. I predict a lot of Larkin and Frost. And why not?
No. 2655: Housekeeping
You are invited to submit a poem (16 lines maximum) about a mundane household task such as boiling an egg or changing a light bulb in the style of a poet of your choice (please specify). Entries should be submitted by email, where possible, to
lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 7 July.