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I don't make a very attractive girl.
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Perhaps it's the beard, John?
Your 'Phoebe Flood' pseudonym just reminded me of my Oldie win in Sept 02, which went:
Poor disadvantaged Feebee White,
Whose parents couldn't spell things rite...
and went on to complain about people who give names to their children that they can't bloody spell. I know of a Hedei (meant to be Heidi) and a girl referred to as Tabitha even though her parents misspelt it as Tabithia. And others...