Sufferin' succotash!
I'd give this a few extra points for originality in concept, but as a "translation" . . . many of the lines seem overly tortuous, some words used in order to obtain the requisite alliteration (examples: "spill from the saucer","eye-pleasing plow-cattle, not a whole pile" and "look on the leagues"). Though translation necessarily involves some sacrifice -- often for meter's or rhyme's sake -- I'm afraid this one has let the chosen form drive the choice of words. The basic meaning does come through, but at a cost.
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