[Roger Slater]

OK, so Orwn gets the fiver, but there's still room lower down on the page. My first attempt (though an edited draft appears a bit down the page):

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK

Jack was being raised by a single mother who was perfectly capable of providing him with an upbringing equal to or better than that of a child raised by two parents, but they lived in poverty because of gender discrimination.

One day she sent Jack to sell their grass-fed cow. To his mother’s delight, Jack accepted organic beans in payment. He planted the beans with a bit of compost, and they shot skyward. Removing his shoes to avoid damaging a living creature, he climbed to the top and discovered a kingdom ruled by a tyrannical giant.

Jack used diplomatic persuasion to convince the giant to abdicate in favor of democracy. The grateful populace offered Jack the Golden Goose, but Jack refused.

When Jack returned home, he and his mother never went hungry or lacked for fibre again thanks to the endless supply of nutritious beans now growing in their backyard.