I won £25 in the Primitive Language Contest. Last week Bazza won £25. Posting these things up is quite tricky but I've actually bought a Staggers and will do my best. This week's winners are jolly good, though I say it myself.
The next challenge (No 4149):
According to Peter Wilby (NS 4 October), David Millband 'once expressed surprise that the New Statesman should contain humour and articles about Christmas food' and a contemporary claimed never to have seen him 'even mildly drunk'. If, for want of other career opportunities, Miliband Senior should take over editing the NS Competition, what challenges might he set.
A lot of you may say that you can't do this because you don't know about the man, but you do. The portrait is obviously of somebody who is, in Nigel Molesworth terms 'a wet weed and a sissy'. You know chaps like this, don't you? Of course you do.
Max 100 words by 21 October
comp@newstatesman.co.uk