It's much funnier than the original, John, though I don't care for S4. It's not 'Christmas specific' enough IMO.
And I don't think 'peddle' is quite right either. And... OK, while I'm being so critical (sorry) I wonder whether S3 could be:
At Christmas time the in-laws come;
They quarrel with my dad and mum
And drink my whisky, gin and rum.
From someone who hasn't even got off the starting grid with this one yet... feel free to completely ignore all of the above.
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