"Dear Uncle Oscar, please advise.
I'm hankering to marry,
But should I marry Harriet
or should I marry Harry?"
"When out in High Society,
it's fine to be a phony,
but it's another matter when
the question's matrimony.
"Being earnest is what holds,
for me, the most importance,
so are you more the Horton type
or are you more the Hortense?
"But most of all I need to ask
why you must marry any?
Monogamy and bigamy
both mean one spouse to many."
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