The Use of Biscuits
Long ago, in Her Majesty’s Navy,
Their purpose was perfectly clear.
A pound of ship’s biscuit was every hand’s ration,
Dipped in a gallon of beer.
That sawdusty hardtack sustained them
And battened the hatch in a squall.
But now the great glory of biscuits is having
No practical uses at all.
Some argue they’re good for digestion;
Such folk are deluded or coy.
Bickies as health food? The very suggestion!
Their use is pure pleasure and joy.
Like poems, they comfort and cheer us;
Without them, no teatime’s complete.
O rich tea and ginger nut, oatmeal and chocolate—
You make our life savoury and sweet!
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