In case you didn't see... (it's not far from where I live but it wasn't me; I ain't that old!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCmk7_wmVA8
Don't tell me you're looking at handbags again!
Oh, hush will you? You just don't 'get it', you men.
You bought that big black one; what happened to that?
I wrecked it.
But how?
Using it as a bat!
I saw those young yobbos on scoooters, and ran.
It wasn't the kind of reaction you plan...
My god, that was you? On the telly, I mean,
who clobbered the robbers right there at the scene?
Some bloke went and filmed it. They've caught them, I'm told.
I do wish he hadn't - I look really old.
So that's why you're searching on ebay for bags?
I am, so I don't need a husband who nags.
I'm sorry, my darling, you're quite right; I'll stop.
Go and buy an expensive one now, from a shop.