[FOsen]

I couldn’t stick it out atop that pillar,
so first, I wrote The Bread and Water Diet
and used a disapproving blurb, “It’s Killer!”
to ward off disbelievers who might try it.
It went to number one, and next I thought
I’d film my strict self-flagellant routine
and meant to underline that flesh is rot,
through swimsuit models wearing Vaseline.
When that went huge, I came back to my column.
Now People wants to do a photo op;
they claim I seem majestic, wise, and solemn
and want to call it “Living at the Top.”
They'd like to know, "Is He a Failed, Pathetic,
or Just the World's Most Lucrative Ascetic?"

Frank

oh, crap - 'thought' and 'rot' conjoin felicitously in Southern California . . .

And to top it off, I sent it to Lucy . . . batting 1,000 . . . .