I like this poem as it is entertaining and very well crafted.
"My house is an orchestra" is used three times and "My house is my orchestra" is used once. Perhaps "an" or "my" should be used consistently throughout.
In S1L4, my tongue sort of sticks on "low, slow." I might replace "low, slow" with a single word, something like: "a murmur that's steady and deep."
The meter of S1L7&8 doesn't really match the metrical pattern of S1L1-6. My thought for S1L7&8:
It ticks and it tocks and its pendulum swings.
The click of the clock joins right in.
In S2L7, I would delete "now." It adds an extra beat that S2L1, S2L3 & S2L5 don't have, and it doesn't really add anything in terms of meaning.
I agree with Roger's suggestion to have an ending where the sounds put the child to sleep.
I agree with Maryann's idea regarding the last line. But if this is done, then I think the meter of S3L8 should be changed to match the meter of S1L8 and S2L8.
Mark
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