Do actual canaries go through a period of perceptible amusement before it hits home that theirs is a life sentence? Just wondering. "canary in a coal mine" will be popping up in readers' minds, and the poem's metaphor is not strong enough, or too confused, to contend with those associations. The ending is maudlin. It's competent, it has a nice sound at times, the writer is obviously talented. But somehow both of these first two sonnets seem cowed and bested by their subjects, and after reading them, I'm starting my day feeling grumpy and young.
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