Quote:
I would have done away with the perfect rhyme, so it would read--
and barely blow each candle flame away
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Jesse,
Sorry, but I disagree with you about 'doing away with the perfect rhyme', when you've got a rhyme scheme of:
men/son/again/begun
name/hands/flame/commands
away/floor/away/more
son/one.
There are already two lines ending in 'away', which is pushing it slightly, though I agree with Pedro that 'put away' and 'gone away' are different actions. (Personally, if it was my poem, though, I think I'd have tried to avoid doing that.)