As I read it, the comma belongs after "pass." Otherwise, it tends to be comma heavy. I think, too, that "side by side" is the more common expression.
I like its flow and picturesque portrayal of the moment, but the comma issue stands in the way of full enjoyment. A small adjustment to L6-8 could reduce the overkill:
rebounds from off the pebbles, seems to glide
on pools and catch among the webs hung side
to side above the creek in intricate shawls.
Peter
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