This is full of lovely things. I like the metrical freedom – there’s a real sense of a speaking voice throughout and I didn’t find myself being caught out. Same with the freedom of the rhyming. All very natural and engaging.
Lines 9-11 are a bit of a puzzle.
Calling the webs shawls throws me a bit too, since it hasn’t been made clear what the webs are in the first place. Overall, though, this is a delightful piece of work.
|