HOW DO I HATE YOU?
How do I hate you? Let me count the ways.
As nature hates a vacuum, skin hates warts;
As dogs hate work and cats hate water sports,
And both abhor the evil hand that spays;
As Jews hate whitebread smeared with mayonaise,
As criminals hate judges, jails and courts,
As Madoff hates an auditor's reports,
As lungs hate cancer, poets hate cliches.
I hate you more than eyes hate cataracts,
Or balls hate jock-itch, kryptonite hates lead;
More than throats hate plegm, or ears hate wax,
Or Casanova hates a single bed;
I hate you more than liars hate the facts;
God willing, I shall hate you when you're dead.
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